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Does Replying by Saying, ‘We Are Divored’ to ‘Say the Word’ Considered a Divorce?

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Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I want a clarification about this matter with my wife. We had a misunderstanding, and she texted me while she was at her parent’s home and the text between us was the following:
Her: say the word.
Me: Okay, I say it, we are divorced.
I didn’t mean it from my heart or have the intention for it. Does this consider a divorce or not?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

This is considered a straightforward, revocable divorce. You have now been given one clear divorce. Your waiting period (idda) began as soon after he uttered the words. However, if the husband displays any kind of physical affection during the three months of the waiting period, which is three menstrual periods, it automatically revokes the divorce. You will become a married couple again.

The Ruling of a Revocable Divorce

When a man divorces his wife with a single revocable divorce or two revocable pronouncements of divorce, he may take her back during her waiting period (‘idda), whether the woman consents to that retraction or does not consent. [Maydani, Al-Lubab Fi Sharh al-Kitab]

To revoke a divorce, one needs to say, ‘I take you back,’ or engage in any act that displays intimacy, such as a kiss or a hug. They become a married couple again. [Maydani, ‘Al-Lubab Fi Sharh al-Kitab; ‘Ibn ʿAbidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

In summary, if you want to reunite with him as a wife, it will be prudent of you both to put the differences aside, renew your commitments, ignore the past, and ask him to take you back. Otherwise, if the waiting period (idda) ends, your marriage bond will end, and you will both have to remarry. You will have a simple marriage ceremony. There is no need to invite or let others know; it is just a formality of the marriage contract of offer and acceptance in front of two witnesses and a new marriage dowry.

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.

Check the related answers:
marriage and divorce Archives – SeekersGuidance
Love, Marriage, and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered (seekersguidance.org)
Etiquette of Marriage: A Comprehensive SeekersGuidance Reader
How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? – SeekersGuidance

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I pray this helps answer your question.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.

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