Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I’ve always sought true love, but after a two-year relationship, we broke up today. I long for someone who loves me genuinely. Will I ever find someone who won’t hurt me? Today, I sobbed so much during my prayers that I couldn’t finish my dua. Has Allah forsaken me?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your pain and suffering and pray that Allah fills your heart with the one true eternal love, Love Of The Divine.
Repent
Suhayb (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Wondrous is the affair of a believer, as it is good for him in every matter; this is not the case for anyone but a believer. If he experiences pleasure, he thanks Allah, which is good for him. If he experiences harm, he shows patience, which is good for him.” [Muslim]
Allah has not forsaken you; rather, He loves and does not want you to be in an illicit relationship anymore. Asking for a relationship before marriage is too much to ask; you should only seek this after marriage. Repent for having a boyfriend and rejoice that Allah is drawing you closer to Him. Don’t get close to a man again until you have married him.
True Love
Place your reliance and trust in Allah, and you will find the perfect man who won’t abuse you in sha Allah. But take the means to please Allah as only He can send you such a man. Pray on time, read the Quran every day, cover yourself correctly, avoid usury, avoid consuming anything doubtful or haram, be kind to parents, study your religion, learn Arabic, study fiqh, give charity, volunteer with the needy….etc. The list goes on and on. Also, take the time to get healthy and have self-care. Most importantly, make dua at auspicious times for guidance, healing and focus on what matters.
I ask you to reflect on these hadith and put your heart’s love where it belongs. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: Your love for a thing causes blindness and deafness.” [Abu Dawud]
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
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